I’ve been doing quite a bit of chucking out – literally and metaphorically.

I moved house last month and, since then, have been going through boxes that were previously in storage and asking the question “Do I really need this?”

What do we really need in life?

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is still the starting point for me when considering needs.

There are the basic Physiological needs – air, water, food, shelter and clothing – and Safety needs – both physical and economic – of which I can’t quibble. These are all things I need – no argument.

After these basic needs, however, I tend to veer away from Maslow and into the land of Self Determination Theory. SDT suggests we have three psychological needs: Autonomy, relatedness and competence. Or, as I like to think of them, the ABC (Autonomy, Belonging, Competence) of higher needs.

I interpret these needs fairly broadly: Autonomy means I feel I have some semblance of control in my life; belonging (or relatedness) is about feeling connected with others; and competence is when I feel capable of achieving desired outcomes. (I find the ABC can easily encompass Maslow’s higher order needs so I don’t feel I’ve abandoned his theory entirely).

It’s not just moving house that brings up questions of needs for me. I think of the ABC (and the physiological/safety needs) and how they apply to my life whenever things feel a bit wobbly. If I’m feeling alone or my work’s not satisfying or even if I’m angry with the telephone company, I can usually source it back to some need not being met.

Interestingly, although Ryan and Deci (the guys behind SDT) say it’s important for all needs to be met in some way, I find that Belonging trumps all for me. If I’m connecting with others then Autonomy and Competence are not so urgent but if Belonging is absent then I really feel it.

It also explains why, in my culling, I’ve had such a hard time letting go of books – they help me feel in control, relate to others (and myself) and increase my competence. Heck, I bet they could even help me keep warm.

I’d best not let them go …