Daily visits to the hospital. Cooking and washing and ironing for my parents. Paying my parents’ bills. Posting letters. Phone calls with my sister. Researching aged care facilities. Discussing the best feminine hygiene products with my brother. Laughing with friends. Crying through movies. Crying while driving. Being overcome with rage in a shopping centre carpark. Arguing with the person I thought was the love of my life. Loading up with fruit and veggies at the market. Choosing a new succulent. Conversing with strangers. Browsing for this week’s beer at the bottlo. Cuddling the cat. More cuddling the cat. Feeding the cat. More feeding the cat. Yet more feeding the cat. Drinking tea and hoovering chocolate chip biscuits with my homie. Dumping my frustrations. Feeling grateful. Dropping cars off. Picking cars up. Ankles burning in 37 degree heat. Being advised my car is being written off. Being happy. Feeling strong. Heart quickening at the sound of a ping. Talking about books. Recommending books. Writing about books. Reading about books. Reading books. Feeling relief at finishing a book filled with rape and violence. Reading about current affairs. Liking and commenting. Watching silly movies. Watching new Grand Designs. Wondering about the results of my sister’s PET scan. Sending invoices. Paying bills. Updating spreadsheets. Organising catchups. Photographing flowers. Laps in the pool. Breathing. Moving. Feeling in my body. Lying under the frangipani, marveling at the rainbow. Walking. Push-ups. Feeling bloated. Feeling tired. Feeling so tired. Washing. Cooking. Eating. Drinking. Dancing. 2am horrors. 3am insomnia. 4am nightmares. 5am cat feed. Listening to podcasts. Writing. Thinking about thoughts. Thinking about distressing thoughts. Thinking I’d rather think other thoughts. Breathing. Calm. Mindful. Hello thoughts. Goodbye thoughts. Feeling in my body.
Life is good. Life is difficult. Life is beautiful.