One of the first ‘essentials’ for navigating the turbulent waters of personal change that I learned from coaching was Positive Mental Attitude. Now there’s a lot of woo woo bumpf around PMA. The version I learned was straight out of Napoleon Hill but the basics of it are starting to be borne out in the positive psychology research.

Today I watched a talk by Sonia Lyubomirsky who is one of the leading lights in happiness research. Her book, The How of Happiness, is regarded as one of the must-have texts of the positive intelliarti. I’ve yet to read it but I have read her 2005 research paper on which it draws, which looked at how happiness impacts on success. As she summarises in her talk, it seems that happier people just seem to have more of those things we find valuable in life – better relationships, better work, better health. They are resilient and thriving.

And the one distinctive thing about PMA that I recall from years ago is that, in those wobbly formative, early-days of going through a transition or change, when perhaps the vision and the way aren’t so clear, then it’s essential to surround yourself with positive people. I’d even add in now that it’s not so much positive people but people who support you in the changes you are making.

Last night I went to a community film and discussion and I came away thinking about this. I’ve been to many community gatherings before and usually come away with a spring in my step, thinking that life is just dang wonderful, and heck, aren’t those flowers just beautiful. But recently, I’ve come away from meetings feeling that I am alone. I am an alien here with nothing in common with anyone. Now, I know that’s not true, so what is it about these gatherings that throws me into the other PMA – pessimistic moping antagonist.

I call it the Chicken Little effect. This is when all people can focus on is the doom and gloom, the sky is forever falling, and even when the focus may turn to solutions, the solutions are so deeply embedded in the catastrophic problems that are befalling us that they are just reactive bandaids. Current favourites of the Chicken Little club are peak oil, global warming (or the kinder, friendlier version, climate change), overpopulation, global financial / credit crisis, global collapse, and so on. And when I’m around Chicken Little mental attitude, it makes me think “Well we’re all just fucked. We may as well kill ourselves now.” It’s not what I’d call empowering.

It’s not that I don’t think these things are important considerations in how we live our lives, but I think that they are just one small factor. Ultimately, I don’t want to continue on this sea of uncertainty, reacting to the latest catastrophe, and fritzing out my cortisol because I’m constantly anxious about the future.

Instead, I want to be able to respond to whatever life throws my way. I want to be resilient. And with this never-ending talk of the oil running out and no longer being able to power anything or go anywhere, well, it just does not contribute to that.

I suppose it doesn’t sit well with me as well because I actually believe that we’ll be alright in the end, that humans are incredibly resourceful and adaptable (I see evidence of it everyday) and that the worse case scenario is that Gaia will get her own back and wipe out all the pesky humans who just haven’t learned how to live in harmony with each other let alone the rest of the planet. And I wonder, is that all that bad?

But that’s not what I’d prefer to happen. I’d prefer that humans and other critters were part of the earth’s future. And that is my focus. A healthy, vibrant, flourishing planet for all life. We are but the stewards.

We learnt a long time ago that The Stick doesn’t work when you’re looking for motivation for change. It’s just not sustainable, and, it causes suffering in the process. No desirable means. No desirable end.

It’s time to start talking Carrots. This is what’s going to make the difference between us not just surviving, or having a sustainable life, but moving us into a realm where we, and all life on the planet, flourish.  

I’m getting the crudités ready now. You bring the hommous.